I won't lie to you. This week, I'm kinda fighting to be thankful. It's been rough. I'm getting ready to leave for Grants Pass in about 30 minutes... Erik is moving there today. I'll follow him in a short 3-4 weeks, but let's be honest here. Rafting season has arrived. Which means an end to a lot of things.
I know in my heart that it actually means the start of many things. But right now, all I can feel is the leaving. Leaving friends. Leaving home. Leaving church.
Ugh.
Not to mention I have to go 3 to 4 weeks without my man. Which, compared to what we've been through in the past, is but a drop in a very large bucket. I'm trying to keep it in perspective. I have friends... dear, precious friends... who are watching their soldier husbands being deployed to deserts on the opposite side of the world for 4, 10, and 18 months.
Three to four weeks? Come ON, Nish. Pull your crap together.
I also got my first hurtful email yesterday from an anonymous reader. Ouch. If I have ever, ever, ever come across as pompous, self-righteous, or spiritually fake, I am so sorry. My intention was never to puff myself up. I just write because I like it and sometimes, I like to share what I'm learning and how I'm changing.
Anyway, in regards to this place... I hope it's an encouragement to those who need it. I hope it speaks Truth to those who seek it. I hope it's a place of safe discussion for those who desire it.
And last night, I had to say goodbye to a youth group that I've poured my soul into for the last three years. There's no other way to describe that experience except... hard. Goodbyes are HARD. I know in my heart of hearts that it's time to move on and pass the baton, but it was difficult to look into the faces of those high schoolers and not feel like I'm abandoning them in some way.
Thank you to all of those who have offered their own encouragement and words of Truth these past few days. I've needed it. I'm thankful for you today.
What are YOU thankful for this Thursday?
Please share your Thankful on a Thursday post with the link sharer below!
91. God's Truth.
92. We'll have a roof over our head... even if it's not in Portland.
93. Double Stuff Oreos. I can't have many, but those few that I can... yum.
94. Rowan's first tooth made its appearance this week... and we came out relatively unscathed.
95. My new orchid flower that sits on my countertop... and how it reminds me of my parents' house.
96. Good, solid encouragement from women I've never even met.
97. I say this a lot, but I'm really thankful for coffee.
98. I am provided for... beyond measure.
99. Getting to hear the hearts of the high school kids last night. They have impacted me far more than I have impacted them.
100. A good, long, hug and kiss from Erik. Sometimes, it's just what I need.
I'm sorry you got some "hate" mail. I've always loved your writing because I feel like you are very authentic. I think you come off as being grounded and aren't too focused on the positive or the negative aspects of your life.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing what you do and sharing despite the haters out there.
i LOVE your writing. I cant believe someone would say anything mean to you. I am praying for you in the time you will be away from Erik. The Lord has a plan and its going to bring you so much closer to Him. :)
ReplyDeleteI have never thought you were pompous or self-rightous! Sorry for your hate mail. Here's some love mail. I heart you blog and your unconditional love of the Lord- Gini
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the hate mail too, no one deserves that. I just started reading your blog, but fake or self righteous is not how I would describe you or your writing. I got my first hate mail/hate comments awhile back, and boy the first one stings! Try to not let it get you down, because it's just not true.
ReplyDeleteI've only been reading for a few days now but as I look back at your posts, you come across as the complete opposite of spiritually fake. It's refreshing to read a blog of someone who so genuinely praises God and the gifts that He has given. I am sorry for the rude email. thank you for continuing to write:)
ReplyDeleteNish, I've been thinking about you a lot today... praying as you walk through the next few weeks.
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't true that the kids have taught us so much more than we have them? I look back at my time and just feel blown away by how much I've learned from them. What an amazing experience.
Lots of love and sorry about whoever would send a mean email....
I just stumbled across your blog and I know i'll be back :) i experienced this EXACT situation last summer - no joke!! my husband moved to another state 3 weeks before i could. i couldn't because i wanted to finish my summer as youth director, and put off the goodbyes to those precious kids as long as possible. i was there 3 1/2 years, and those goodbyes are still painful to recall.
ReplyDeletei'm sorry you're going through a tough time, and will pray for your peace in it.
i'm thankful that i hit this post today!! i have a feeling we have a bunch in common :)
Hi there cutie,
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog through Sarah's.
Sounds like some big changes are coming your way again.
Anyways, I remember one time, Rick got an anonymous note from a person in the congregation, he stood up in front of everybody and said there is no anonymity in community.
As I was reading through your blog and saw your honesty and beautiful heart I realized that you have great courage. There is no courage in anonymity.
Be blessed in your journey, thanks for sharing your story.