Inspiration.

I have been in a writing slump. A big one.

I am often inspired to write by stories of change and transformation in people's lives. I'm inspired by the Gospel going forward. I'm inspired by creativity and books and conversation and big acts of love and compassion.

Perhaps I'm looking in the wrong places, but lately, I've had a difficult time finding inspiration in the writings of others. Lately, I have seen a lot of negativity, a lot of unnecessary conflict. Those things don't inspire me. They make me gloomy. Bitter. Unmotivated.

So, I'm asking you... my lovely and dear friends, where are you finding inspiration? What have you read or seen lately that has inspired you to write and create? Truly the Lord is in all things and I am certainly seeking Him out and wrestling with His changing my heart... but I have a deep craving to see and hear how He is changing you and how He is working in your life.

Tell me:

What's challenging you? What's inspiring you? What's new in your heart?

Humbled. Grateful. Joyful.

I'll write more about this soon, but I'm just stopping in to say that (in)courage has awarded me a sponsorship to the Relevant Conference. 

I can't even begin to describe the excitement and joy I have in my heart. I am so humbled...

...and so excited!

I read the posts at (in)courage every morning and the writers are all some of my favorites that I read daily. 

Thanks for the opportunity. I'm beyond honored.

A deep yearning.

I want to get out of the concrete of the city and allow my feet to dig deep roots in a life of simplicity.

I dream of nights that wrap me up in blankets of star sparkle, instead of the warm glow of high-rises and traffic lights.

I dream of big blue skies and countless days in the brightness of warm rays.

I want the little toes of my boy to feel familiar in cool grass and dirt rather than pavement.

I want a garden. I want to learn how to grow things... nurture them... then find our bellies full of the goodness we've grown.

I dream of small town markets and a one-stop-shop for coffee... a place where I see my neighbors in the morning.

My heart aches for that big front porch with a swing that whispers "Grace is in this house."

I desire warm summer nights in that porch swing with my love. His arm around me, sitting with me in the quiet sparkle while the boy dreams his adventure boy dreams in the quiet room upstairs.

I dream of big color blooms of lilacs and honeysuckle and tulips and roses in the spring, making beautiful bouquets on our kitchen counter.

I yearn for the slow. The pause. The simple. The quiet.

So what do you do? What do you do when your deepest yearnings collide with life? If you sit in my chair, you never stop dreaming those big dreams of stars and porches.

But, you pray.

Pray for calm. Pray for the deepest peace that only comes from the One. Though I sit in the hardened grey of the city, He does a soft but strong growing in me through the waiting and yearning.

I may be living in a concrete life, I may yearn for days in the dirt, but I choose to believe that beautiful things can grow in the cracks of pavement.

What are the desires of your heart?

It's the weekend.

The weekend drove up quickly, drenched in a bright blue sky. 

I'll spend the next few days outside, so I have to tell my computer "goodbye."

So off I go to play, I must bid you all adieu. 

But not without a picture of an adorable boy in blue.

Happy Weekend!

Thankful on a Thursday - He numbered the sand.

We arrived at Camp Magruder under black skies with a glitter blanket. The stars were out. It felt like ages since I had seen them so bright. Living in the city always casts a dark shadow over their sparkle, even in the dead of night. But they were waiting for me upon my arrival. I stared at them with a smile of recognition, thanking Him for allowing them to attend.

We unpacked our things and got all of the teenagers squared away... their yammering mouths alive from the sugar and caffeine that only Mountain Dew can provide. Ali and I made our way to the small sleeping cabin, just 100 yards away. Assembling the cribs of mesh and nylon, we prepared for adventure. Two days with her nine month old, Annabelle, and my five month old, Rowan... along with the aforementioned teenagers.

The night ended and we awoke the next morning to blue skies and warm weather. I smiled at the sun's rays, thanking them for their attendance, also. 

We spent the day swinging, eating, laughing, giggling. We buried our feet in the sand of the beach and ran them across the soft green grass. Our hands caught frisbees and shoveled sand. We roared with laughter as teenage boys chose to brave the Pacific's chill and jump in the waves, fully clothed. 

I smiled as my little boy's toes became wrapped in sand, and laughed even more as he pulled them into his mouth. He was alive and cheerful in the spring sun, and I could have looked at those toes for hours. 

I finally became aware of the sand in their creases and tried my best to count each grain. 

I couldn't do it.

I sat amazed. To think that He knows exactly how many grains of sand are on the Pacific shore... it was enough to flood my mind and heart to the point that I didn't have words to speak. No words could speak of God's vastness and breadth in that moment. 

It was enough to make me want to crouch lowly on my knees and put my face to the ground.

It was enough to make me want to jump as high as I could with arms outstretched, shouting of his grandeur. 

I looked around at the young people surrounding me as we talked about the Apostle Paul and his thankfulness for those with whom he was in deep community.

I sat amazed at their young faces, too. Each one so carefully crafted by a loving Artist. Their inquisitive eyes studying their pastor as he spoke of God and his goodness, despite our lives' trials and tribulations. 

I sat thankful.

I sit thankful today, too.

What are YOU thankful for this Thursday?

Please share your Thankful on a Thursday post with the link sharer below!

71. The rare, warm, sunny day on the Oregon coast in April.

72. Bonfires in the sand.

73. Picking up a book to read for the seventh time and feeling its well-worn pages between my fingers.

74. Tiny toes and big giggles.

75. Frisbees.

76. A bowl of sugar-coated cereal, drenched in ice cold milk... for dinner.

77. Our newly-formed bedtime routine with Rowan: bath, bottle, story, sleep. And a good snuggle, too.

78. The bonds of strong and true friendships - the kind that stand the test of time.

79. The tulips blooming all over Portland. 

80. God's vastness and my smallness. 

I'm so grateful that so many people have started listing their thanks every Thursday. I've created the banner above for you to post on your site every week, linking back to The Outdoor Wife. I'd love it if you'd put it to good use!

Excited to learn, but more excited to love.

In the late days of October this year, I'll be heading to a state I've never visited: Pennsylvania. I'm not going to see the Liberty Bell, or run up the Rocky steps. No, I'll be going to the town of Harrisburg, where 199 other women will be, also.

We'll convene in the large rooms of a hotel, sipping our coffee and listening to those who have been doing this writing-on-the-web thing longer than we have. We'll laugh, smile, share and enjoy... drinking in the presence of others on the same journey. Fingers tapping on laptop keys, eyes fixated on women speaking wisdom, imaginations running wild with wheels turning, thinking of the next big story we need to tell.

I'm most looking forward to the moments in the hotel room I'm sharing with three other lovelies. Beautiful and inspiring baby-wearing, ruffle-sewing, vintage-collecting kindreds. The fun, wild and goofy moments, full of bed-jumping and laughing. The genuine, quiet moments of sharing stories of love, life and faith.

While I'm attending Relevant to learn more about this craft of writing, I'm most looking forward to the people. Women who speak encouragement and life into the darkest of places. Women who seek to inspire and build-up others. Women who know the deep pains and struggles of life, but choose to seek out the grace, joy and abundance that we are offered through Him.

I'm excited to learn, but I'm more excited to love.

motivation: q&a about this blog

A few days ago, I was chatting with a dear friend. We started talking about my efforts here at The Outdoor Wife, and she asked some really good questions that I think need to be addressed. She's a true friend and always seems to get to the root of my heart and motivations. I'm blessed to know her, but MAN she can give a butt-kicking when I need it!

Anyway, I think I need to answer those questions here, out loud, for everyone to read. It seems that everyone has a voice & opinion on the subject of blogging, so I thought I'd offer up my thoughts on why I decided to start this one. I'll post the questions that my friend asked, along with some others that I've been asked through different venues, and also questions that I've pondered in my own heart.


Why did you start a blog, anyway?
To be honest, I started it initially because I felt like I had a story to tell. Is my story better than anyone else's? Of course not. In fact, I think we all have stories of life, love and transformation, and I would hope that everyone would find a way to share their own. This seemed the best way for me to share my own story of what I've been through, how I'm being changed now, and where I'm headed. I knew that what the Lord has been doing in my life could be encouraging to other women, so I felt compelled to write and share. So, I guess that's the main reason why I started this. To encourage other women to experience deeper intimacy with Christ through my own story and experiences, and to encourage women to live out their own story, live a life of adventure, and try something new.

So are you what people would call a mommy-blogger?
I'm not sure how to answer that. My initial instinct would be to say "no." But, I am a mommy and I do have a blog, so if that is what makes me a "mommy blogger" than yes, I suppose I am. However, here on this blog, you won't find many pictures of my son, you'd be hard-pressed to find anecdotes about diapering, feeding and parenting, and if I'm going to review products, it most likely won't be for car seats, swings and bottles... but rather for hiking boots, skis and tents. You won't find links to vote for me in "Top Mommy Blogs" or "Top Baby Blogs" either. But, I understand that a lot of women who join me here are moms, so I try to offer up stories and information that's helpful and encouraging to all women, no matter their stage in life. I think I'm more of a woman-blogger. It's a little more all-encompassing.

If your sole purpose for this blog is to be used for encouragement and information, then why do you Tweet about it and try to draw people here? 
That's a great question. I tweet about my posts here because I believe in the power of personal experience and story. If there is even a remote chance that what I'm learning from God can be useful or encouraging to someone else out there, I feel compelled to share it and spread the word. Being vulnerable and honest about my own personal transformation isn't something that comes easily to me, but I'm learning & being encouraged by a lot of people in my life to keep going, to keep writing. So, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing, and just pray that what I write here would be used for good.

Are your website analytics more important to you than you lead people to believe?
As for this question, I won't lie, I have Google Analytics installed into the code of my blog so I can track visits and learn more about where my visitors are from (I had a couple hits from IRAN! Can you believe it?!) Do I really care about how many hits I get in a day? Not really. What I DO care about is what people gain by visiting. I'm not here to play devil's advocate, to stir the pot, or to talk about the latest controversy hitting the blogosphere. I'm not saying those things are bad, they're just not my purpose here. My goal is to lift up, encourage, and speak truth. If that's what people leave with, then I've done my job.

And you want to know something interesting? The post that usually gets the most visits every week is "Thankful on a Thursday." Maybe people just want to be encouraged, lifted up and reminded of the good in life?

What about giveaways? Those are usually just to promote your brand and create traffic. If you don't care about hits, why do them?
Ah. This is an easy one to answer. You know why I do giveaways? Because chances are, there are other women out there like me who just can't afford little luxuries right now. They've given up a second income to stay home with their kid. They just lost their job due to budget cuts. They're the typical broke college student. I know how that feels and I know it deeply. I would LOVE to be able to buy little things for myself, like a cute ruffly bag from Gussy, or new stationery from My Little Buffalo. But, our bank account just won't allow for those things right now, at least without some kind of discount or a chance to win them for free. So, I offer giveaways as a blessing to those women who just can't afford something pretty & nice for themselves right now. If it brings more visitors here, fine. But, I hope they walk away with something more than just an entry to a giveaway contest.

What about money-making with this blog? Do you make money? Do you want to make money?
No, I don't make a dime of money from writing here. Not one penny! I don't have any affiliate links or sponsor buttons on my sidebar. Any link that you see here is because I enjoy the site and I want to share it, and any products that I review are because I already own them and I wasn't given a freebie. For example, I just posted a gear list yesterday. They are all items that I own, recommend and love. After each item, there's a link where you can purchase that piece... I do NOT get any money or promotion from you clicking that link and purchasing that product. I simply offer it for your shopping convenience.

As for the second question, I don't have any intention of making money with this blog. I'm not seeking out ways to create revenue and I'm not pursuing partnerships with companies or other blogs that I enjoy. However, just because I'm not pursuing those, doesn't mean I'm not open to it. If I was approached and asked for ad space, or if someone wanted to partner with me that would eventually lead to a stream of income, I can't say that I'd decline the offer. I mean, you know how life can get, right? Living on one income is HARD! A little extra cash can go a long way in our house! However, I never want money or income to be the driving force behind why I write what I do. My motivation is simple: the readers who visit. 


Alright, friends. That just about covers it. Of course, if you have any other questions for me regarding my motivations here, don't hesitate to ask. I want to be open and honest about the goings-on of The Outdoor Wife. I don't want you to feel like you're just a byproduct of some master plan to take over the world. Your lives and hearts, as well as my own, are the reasons I write what I do here. I hope you're lifted and touched every time you visit.