Thankful on a Thursday - Unrest.

I sat on the couch with my legs pulled up to my chest, tears slowly making their way down my cheeks. I can hear the crunch of the gravel driveway beneath his car tires as he pulls away from our makeshift home.

I am in a state of unrest. I am discontent.

We all dream of, and sometimes achieve, that feeling of contentment despite our life's surroundings. I'm being completely honest here when I say that I am just not there right now. 

Rafting season is hard for me. Erik leaves for work before I get out of bed and doesn't arrive home until it's time for Rowan's bath and last bottle. They are long days, and very lonely days. Then, add an unfamiliar house in a very small unfamiliar town with very little familiar faces... well, you know how it feels. Right? Surely you've moved away from home before and have tried to find rest and contentment in a new, unfamiliar place.

I have done what I know to do: Unpack quickly. Hang pictures on the wall. Cook a meal in the new kitchen. Drive around the new town, finding your own way around. 

I seek out advice, a kind or encouraging word, only to be recited Scripture. He'll never leave me or forsake me. He knows me in my inmost being. Then, the guilt comes. Why is that knowledge not enough? Why do I seek after more? Is there more than that? Why do I search for things to bring contentment besides the One? What does any of it even mean?

I'm not sure. I don't know the answer to any of those questions. But I'm choosing to be thankful for this season... a season that will allow me to dig deep into the heart of the matter and find out what it means to be content in the middle of my loneliness and unrest. But as I sit here in front of my computer screen with a piping-hot cup of coffee, I'm quickly realizing that I might be more settled than I think. The routines are back. The same lack of motivation to finish the laundry has indeed, returned. 

Maybe I'll be okay, after all.

What are YOU thankful for this Thursday?

Please share your Thankful on a Thursday post with the link sharer below!

111. The mist that settles in over the new, green back yard in the early hours of the morning.

112. The land that we're living on and how much fun it is to see the dogs run.

113. I'm a short 5 minute drive from the mighty Rogue River... and she is beautiful.

114. An afternoon exploring the Applegate Valley and wine-tasting with my love.

115. The many friends and helping hands who came to assist in my packing.

116. The touch of summer warmth on my bare legs.

117. My guys. 

118. The opportunity to be a part of a new collaborative effort. 

119. Freshly-washed sheets.

120. I may feel lonely, but I am never alone. He will never leave me or forsake me.

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Thanks to all of my guest bloggers who contributed during moving week last week! I can't tell you how grateful I am for your contributions. They brought a lot of life and perspective to me, and I'm sure many others.

And thanks to everyone who sent emails, comments and tweets of encouragement. It's good to be back.