Thankful on a Thursday - Overwhelmed.

I

've been overwhelmed lately.

I've been overwhelmed by a burdening sense of perfectionism. 

I need to be the perfect woman. The perfect stay at home wife and mother. If my husband is going to bust his butt at his job all day, you better believe that I'll do the same. Therefore, my house must be perfectly clean at all times. So help me God if the laundry basket still has clothes in it. Our son should be happy and smiling every minute that he's awake. Dishes in the sink? Not in my house! 

I need to be the perfect wife to my husband. I can't let him see that our impending six-month move is affecting me in any way. I certainly can't let him see that I'm sad about it or worried that the loneliness will consume me once we settle into our rental house, 240 miles away from our community of friends and support here in Portland. Because, if I'm the perfect wife, those things won't affect me at all, right? I mean "home is where the heart is" and that should be wherever my family happens to be. It would be imperfect of me to worry and have any sense of distrust. 

I need to be the perfect writer. I can't just write to write. If I'm going to say something, it needs to be intentional and it needs to be perfect. If my purpose is to encourage other women, I certainly can't just throw anything out into the blogosphere and expect people to read. Oh, and of course I need to write every day. That's crucial to my perfection. I can't let housework, my kid or my marriage get in the way, so I also need to be perfect with my time management. 

And of course, I also need to be the perfect Christian woman. Humble, soft-spoken, gentle, kind, compassionate... making time to read & study God's word every day. I need to always have a desire to learn and grow. Laziness and apathy are never an option. I need to see God in everything, everywhere through everyone. 

Honestly, who can function under that kind of pressure?

Perfection is like a mountain that's impossible to climb.

It's astonishing how quickly I can believe a lie. I need to be perfect. Really? Says who? Certainly not the Lord. If I was perfect, I wouldn't need Grace. If I was perfect, I wouldn't need Christ. If I was perfect, I would BE Christ. I certainly can't claim that crown.

So, as I read through God's Word, I'm reminded of the freedom that I'm provided. Freedom from burdening myself with perfection. I was never asked to be perfect. I was only asked to follow Him. I'm deeply thankful for the freedom to do so.

What are YOU thankful for this Thursday?

31. Tiny hands and big squeals.

32. Journal pages full of questions, thoughts and prayers.

33. His strong hand on my face during a gentle kiss goodbye.

34. Meeting a new and inspiring friend. Loving an old & true friend from a distance.

35. My church. My home. My community.

36. Wearing his comfy, grey sweatpants when he's out of town.

37. A good page-turner. 

38. How this post refocused my love for Scripture.

39. Gussy Ruffles now holding my jewelry.

40. Knowing that I'm not expected to be perfect... just faithful.